big knife cut head

The ninja did the old cartwheel with the seven spinning blades protruding from his kneecap trick, and managed to cut off the top half of the goblin’s head without much interference from such inconsequentials as the skull. Then, with a nice flourish, he landed on the tips of his toes and did a small courtesy towards his future employer, and grinned. “Big knife cut head,” he said.

His employer clapped her tiny hands and giggled. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes and legs which looked like legs. She was training to be a ballerina, and could hold a silver spoon on her top lip, as well as play ‘hot cross buns’ on a recorder. She was also only six. “Do it again!”

The ninja glanced at the hacked up hunk of meat, and raised an eyebrow. “Now that,” he said slowly. “That would be a mean trick.”

“Again!”

“Hmm. Obviously, Annie, no one has ever explained to you the concept of death, have they?”

Annie frowned, and pointed at the brains which were slipping out of the cleanly cut skull and out onto her mother’s carpet. “Dead? He’s dead?”

“Well, I did cut off the top half of his skull,” the ninja said. “I think that is what constitutes dead-ness.”

Annie sighed. “Now daddy will have to get me a new one.”

The ninja spread his black arms, and smiled apologetically. “Mine is an expensive demonstration, Annie. But I’m sure daddy won’t mind, will he?”

“He better not,” the little girl stamped her tiny foot. “Or big knife cut his head! Now. You got to work for me, right?”

The ninja nodded. “Until Hallowe’en, as is the law. You get one assassin for three years, or a ninja for two months. You got me until Hallowe’en, Annie. Anything you want killed, I kill. Simple, isn’t it? But I have two rules, rules which may not be broken. They have to do with honour. Do you understand the concept of honour, Annie?”

“Honour?”

“Nevermind. Let’s just say, I don’t play dollies, and I don’t do children’s parties, okay?”

The little girl screwed up her pretty face and thought about it really hard. “No parties? But Jenny is having hers next week, and I wanted to take you there so you could kill them all.”

The ninja shook his head. “Sorry, can’t do. But if you like, I can get them all one by one before the party.”

She beamed up at him. “Goodie! Okay, get Jenny, and Chris, and Peter, and Jane, and Brad, no wait, not Brad. Get All of them, but not Brad, or Phoebe. Or Janice, I guess. But only because she’s a friend of April. But you can kill April, because she doesn’t like me, or Stephanie. And don’t get Stephanie, or I can’t go roller-skating with her on Saturday. But you have to get Cindy. She said I can have her Penny Polecat collection when she dies, so you have to kill her. Kill her first. Okay?”

The ninja made a mental note. “Kill Cindy first. Got it.”

The goblin on the ground twitched, and a spray of blood spurted like a final expression of helplessness all over the girl’s pink frock. She gave a small squeal and jumped back. “He bled on me!”

“They do that sometimes, Annie. It’s only a post-death cry for help.”

“Oh. Do they? All the time?”

The ninja shrugged. “Most times that I know of. I’m not usually hanging around.”

“Why not? Isn’t it fun to watch them die?”

“The fun is the killing, not the watching of the decomposition. I consider myself a composer, not a decomposer,” the ninja grinned. He took a small knife from his belt and handed it to her. “Here, stab him. He’ll move again, goblins always do for some reason. It’s said you can stab a goblin and he will twitch every time. In Parseinne, there’s a goblin laid out on a stone. He’s just a skeleton now, but if you stab his bones, he twitches. It’s very funny, really.”

The girl took the knife and approached carefully. “Will he bleed on my dress again?”

The ninja shrugged. “Maybe. Probably.”

She raised the knife, which looked like a sword in her tiny hands, and brought it down with shuddering force. It slid neatly into the goblin’s scaly flesh, and a tentacle of blood sprouted from his chest, lashing out like a long whip, before falling with gravity to splash across her shiny black shoes. “Yuck,” she winced, watching the body twitch as if in ecstasy. “It looks gross.”

The ninja reached down and plucked the knife from the goblin’s chest. The goblin remained unmoving as the knife was pulled from its body. “That’s why I don’t stay around much. It’s not fun after they finish shrieking.”

He wiped the blade and thrust it back into his belt.

The girl licked her lips and smiled. “His brains look kind of yummy. Like the worms daddy eats with tomato sauce.”

The ninja chuckled. “Ah, Gore Seng noodles? Yes, they are rather nice. A little too spicy for me though. Does he eat them, does he?”

“He like them a lot,” nodded the little girl. She wiped the blood from her shoes with her hands, then licked some of the red fluid from her fingers and winced. “Yucky.”

“Goblin blood is a bit acidic,” the ninja told her. “It can unsettle your tummy.”

The girl looked up to see if he was joking. “Will it kill me?”

The ninja shook his head. “No, not kill you. Just make you wish you were dead. But you have to drink more than you did. Some say you can get magic powers if you drink enough though, but no one ever tests the theory because the sickness that comes from drinking goblin blood is pretty intense.”

“Magic powers? Will they make me fly? Will I be able to suck out your brains with magic power if I drink his blood?”

“Who knows?” shrugged the ninja. “Never know until you try.”

The little girl looked at the blood oozing out onto the carpet from the head. She sniffed her fingers and winced again. “Maybe I’ll try later.”

The ninja laughed. “Their blood is pretty disgusting. I never tried it, but I knew it wasn’t nice, just by the smell of it.”

“Smells like Buster.”

“Buster?”

“My dog.”

“Your dog?” The ninja sniffed. “You have one foul smelling dog then. I’d shoot it if I were you, put it out of its misery.”

“I did. That’s why the blood smells like him. He kind of went rotten after a while, but I keep him in the fridge anyway. One day, when they find out how to cure death, I’ll get him healed.”

“I don’t think they’ll ever cure gunshot wounds, Annie.”

The girl pursed her lips. “They cured gangrene. My uncle had it. They cut off his whole leg and gave him another. The other was his girlfriend’s leg. They were in a car accident together, and she died, so they stitched her leg on when they had to chop off his.”

“Did they? He must have looked a bit funny then.”

The girl nodded. “Yep. But he says it’s great. He said they should have just put his head on her body. He says he’d have liked having tits. Mommy says I shouldn’t say that, but uncle Jimmy did, so I can. You won’t tell mommy will you? I don’t want to kill her too.”

The ninja shook his head and winked at her. “Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die, I won’t tell.”

The girl looked a little happier then, and smiled brightly. “Well, I have to go inside now, because I’m having dinner soon. Will you come see me tomorrow?”

The ninja frowned, his glittering eyes narrowed. “I don’t know, I’ll be kind of busy. I have to get your party friends, remember?”

“Do Cindy first. I want those Penny Polecat toys.”

“You got it,” the ninja grinned. “Cindy first.”

“Will she twitch when you get her? Like the goblin did?”

“I hope so,” said the ninja with an evil grin. “I really hope so.”

Annie giggled. “You’re funny.”

“So are you, Annie. You’d better go, your mommy is at the window there, see?”

“Oh yeah. She looks mad. Maybe she found Chester.”

“Chester?”

“My cat. I put him in the microwave this afternoon. He was hungry, so I thought he’d like to eat his meat. He likes cooked meat, but he was so hungry he didn’t want me to just put the meat into the microwave, he wanted to eat it straight away, so I put him in with the meat while it cooked. Unfortunately it cooked Chester too.”

“Ah. That will smell almost as bad as the goblin.”

The girl shrugged. “I’ll put him in the fridge.”

“The goblin?”

“No, silly,” giggled the tiny girl. “Chester!”

“Oh. I see. Well, Annie, I have to go. Cindy will be eating her dinner too now, and I want to get there before she goes to bed.”

“Okay. I’ll see you after tomorrow, okay?”

The ninja nodded. “Sure, Annie. After tomorrow.”

The girl smiled, waving as she danced into her house. She sat at the table and watched as her meal was dumped onto her plate. The potato quivered, and the mystery meat crumbled at her touch. The peas melted in the steaming butter, and the knife and fork in her hand made her feel good. Very good.

“Mommy, daddy? I met someone today,” she told them.

“That’s nice dear,” daddy said.

“Yes dear, very nice,” mommy said.

Annie looked up at their tired faces. “Maybe he can come to dinner on Saturday, when auntie glennis comes to stay? I don’t like auntie glennis. He’ll be good. He’s my friend.”

“That’s nice dear,” daddy said.

“”Yes dear, very nice,” mommy said.”

Annie smiled, pleased. “And you’ll like him too. You both will. Very much.”

Tags: ninjas