tasmanians in the water

curiously enough, it is tasmania which exports a little known chemical called ‘agent 23.5′. this chemical, apart from being extremely toxic, is used in the production of army grade ‘black paint’.

in order to keep their exports at a maximum, the tasmanian government signed an agreement with the US, and in return for painting all their helicopters black, using tasmanian grade black paint, tasmania would allow the US to breed hybrid aliens with the tasmanian mutant population.

i know you think this is crazy, that if this were the case, then all helicopters would have been painted toxic ‘tasmanian grade’ paint by now, but you must consider that ‘agent 23.5′ is made of a highly volatile fluid, which is drained from the fat of mutant children, and mixed with a solution derived from the rare tasmanian brain cell. this shows how slow the process of painting the helicopters can be. after all, ‘agent 23.5′ is still a little slow in supply, so it is only natural that the helicopters get painted slowly.

in truth, the agreement with the US was actually a bonus for the tasmanian government, because not only did it supply it with a market for ‘agent 23.5′, but it also provided a steady stream of mutant children who could be ‘abducted’ by black helicopters in the middle of the night, and subjected to having their fat removed, and any brain cells they may have accidently formed, sucked out through a straw.

i understand if you think this theory is strange, but you must be aware that tasmania is populated by brainless mutant children, and that far from being completely useless, they are in fact a viable alternative to the more damaging process of creating ‘agent 23.5′, whereby the solution is removed from the bodies of politicians, another source of mutant fat. besides, the profit gained from removing the fluids from a comatose tasmanian is 23 cents in the dollar more than that of taking the slightly less pure source, coming from a politician. or, at least, that is what the government funded research results have proved.

this programme explains two things. first, that black helicopters are nothing more than the slow integration of a newer, tougher image for the US armed forces, similar to the SS, yet not so decorative. it also explains how tasmania not only holds the records for the lowest rates of heart disease in the world, but also why most models with the ‘waif’ look also seem to come from the apple isle. especially when one considers the lack in dieting and fitness clubs located in tasmania.

of course, it has been rumoured that these models are merely drones, sent to brainwash the population into believing that ’skinny’ is attractive, and thus paving the way for slowly spreading the ‘field’ of abduction for the ‘area 23.5′ ingredients. after all, would the brainwashed mutant actually raise a fuss if overnight they became a mindless waif, complete with a brand new tasmanian accent.

Tags: conspiracies, desperately calling mulder and scully, tasmania