my captain

My research into the Chaos Lords has led me to the shores of Uramali, a small bay to the south of Widgeroo. I have read of a Torii which is said to appear here at certain times, and I decided to wait by the shore in hope of seeing it.

A Torii is an ancient structure, built of wood – the flesh of large plants called trees. These were considerably larger than the specimens we have cultivated in the Southlands, and it is rumoured some of these grew many times the height of a man. I cannot believe such a thing was possible, and after reading several ancient books, I am convinced much of the information regarding such things is merely the fabulous dreams of our ancestors.

The Torii is shaped like a large doorway, with two pillars on which sits a nuki – a small rail placed horizontally between the pillars – and above this is a larger rail, or kasagi. The Uramali Torii is rumoured to be red, with large golden runes striping its base and the symbol of the Chaos Lords adorning the kasagi. I hope to sketch the runes before it disappears in hope they can be translated at the University.

For many days I waited, spending my first few days in a constant state of anticipation. After a while, though, my expectation dulled and I began to wonder if the Torii of Uramali was merely a creation of myth and legend. I confess to feeling restless. I admit to not being the most patient of men.

On one day when my restlessness was high, I climbed a nearby boulder which rested not too far off shore. I waded out to it and managed to find some footholds. It was some six times my height and close to being perfectly round. There are two of them in the bay, and it is said by some they are the eyes of a Chaos Lord, plucked from his head and left in the shallows. It is said he fumbled around searching for them and waded out into the deep water where he drowned. Even now, it is believed, he lies on the bottom of the sea, his ghost searching blindly across the sandy seabed for his eyes.

I sat on one and looked far out at the water. I wondered how the Torii would arrive. Would it float into view across the horizon? Or would it simply fade into existance before fading out? Would it explode into being? Burst like a bubble? Would I hear it? What if I were asleep when it arrived?

I puzzled over these thoughts with increasing frustration, such that I didn’t notice the ship at first.

It sailed around into the bay, skirting the reef and slowly approaching where the Torii should appear. When I saw it, it had already exposed most of its bough to my view, and I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it emerging from behind the cliffs which embraced the bay.

It was monstrous in size – I have seen no other like it before or since. Its massive masts seemed to scrape holes in the skies and how it managed to sail in such shallow waters I still have no explanation for. It simply glided into the centre of the bay and stopped. I heard a great splash as it lowered its anchor and fancied I heard a deep shudder as the heavy weight must have punched into the seabed.

The sailors – for there were many – were as ants across the ship, and it honestly seemed the sailors had simply been shrunk such was the ridiculousness of their scale in relation to the ship. I find it difficult to write how shocked I was at such a sight. I can find no words to adequately convey the sense of sheer size this ship possessed.

Some time later as I stood on the Chaos Lord’s eye, my jaw hanging slack from my skull – I was still in shock, you see – I noticed a small rowboat being lowered into the water. It seemed a man was in the rowboat and he soon began rowing for the shore, slowly but with determination.

I climbed from the boulder and headed toward where I thought he might soon come to land. I was eager, you see, to discover all I could about this massive ship and its mysterious origin.

“Greetings!” I called as he rowed toward the shore.

He seemed startled at my presence. “Who are you?” he cried, forgetting his oars for a moment.

“I am Sangren Lash,” I called. “I am an apprentice from the University. Could you say, sir, what manner of ship you have sailed on? I have not seen its like before!”

“And nor will you again, Mister Lash!” he called back, pulling harder through the breaking waves.

I waded out to help as he leapt from his rowboat to drag it to shore. Together we heaved it onto the beach and then sat panting in the sand.

“What is the ship called?” I asked him.

“It has no name, really,” the man replied. He was short, with nearly no muscle on his skeleton and a wide red mouth. His ears were overlarge and his nose short and oddly positioned though I cannot be more accurate as to why I thought it was so. Yet, he was dressed finely, with a long blue coat and a shirt of the latest fashion in Cumballa. I couldn’t help but admire his clothes and wonder if he were a merchant of some kind. He must have noticed because he shook his head and said, “I’m no rich man, Mister Lash. Just a man who takes pride in his clothes.”

I nodded as though I understood, but I didn’t believe him. “You didn’t say your name, sir.”

“I am Captain Norren Bal Tongren,” he said, almost formally. “My home port is Tungben Bay – far to the east.”

I was pleased to admit to having heard of Tungben Bay. “It is near Holdren,” I said. “South of the Rumidgi Plains?”

“The very place,” he smiled.

“You have travelled far, then,” I said. “Have you come to see the Torii?”

“The Torii?”

“Yes,” I said. “It appears here, they say, at certain times of the year. It is said to be a gateway into the world of the Chaos Lords.”

“Ah,” he frowned. “A local superstition? I have not heard of such a thing. No, I merely needed to feel the sand beneath my feet. My crew must think me mad, but I had to leave that ship – even for just a few minutes.”

I rose to my feet and approached my pack. “Would you like something to eat?”

He smiled. “I would, Mister Lash. I would indeed. Alas, I cannot. But, please. If you are hungry, do consume.”

I was used to eating alone, so I pulled some cheese and the last of my bread and gnawed away quite cheerfully for some time.

“You seem afraid,” I told him. “Surely on such a ship, there’s no need to fear pirates?”

“Pirates?” he seemed to find that amusing. “Oh, I would welcome such a fear, Mister Lash. Unfortunately, no. Pirates certainly would give us wide berth, but they have heard of the ship with no name, so they avoid us more than they would a ship which sailed under the flag of plague.”

I must have looked at him oddly because he sighed and nodded to himself as though making a decision.

“I am bound to the ship, Mister Lash. And it is bound to me. No man would willingly choose to board her, and those that do may never leave until the final breath leaves their bodies.”

“You are captives of a curse? Cannot a mage simply undo such a thing? I have heard there are plenty of mages in Tungben Bay.”

“They have tried, Mister Lash. They have tried. So many of them. One even came aboard in hope of studying the curse firsthand.”

“What happened to him?”

“He’s now the ship’s cook,” the Captain chuckled without much mirth. “And even he cannot explain why.”

I frowned. “Yet, you are off the ship?”

“For short times we may leave. For many of us, we choose not to. Myself, I seem to have more freedom than my crew. They choose to wait on board, scrubbing the decks or repairing the sails. I have but a short time before the ship will call me back.”

I was more curious by the moment, and all thoughts of the Torii vanished on revelation of this new mystery. I eyed the Captain with awe and wonder. How could such a man live? Surely he would have gone mad by now.

As though reading my thoughts, he said, “I feel mad, Mister Lash. Some days, I do. I feel I have lost my mind completely and utterly. That is when I must get to the shore at any cost. Last time I leapt into the ocean and swam for three days, the ship trailing my every stroke. I could not bear to climb back aboard no matter how the ship called my bones or the crew shouted at my ears. I would not have returned for anything. But, on reaching shore, I found myself soon heading back. I cannot tell you why. I wish I knew.”

“I wish there was something I could do,” I told him, stricken by a feeling of total helplessness. If the mages of Tungben Bay could not aid the poor Captain, what could a struggling apprentice do? I placed my hand on his shoulder. “I am sorry, Good Captain.”

He began to sob, slowly at first, his face in his hands. “I was never a good man, Mister Lash,” he wept. “But I am certain fate has somehow dealt me a crueler hand than I deserved. I dream evil things, sometimes. I thank you for your pity and your humanity, and though there is little you could do to aid us, I am thankful to have met you today.”

“As I am to you, Captain,” I returned my gaze to the ship and saw another rowboat heading toward the shore. I pointed out to it. “Who is that? Another of your crew?”

The Captain looked up with a shudder. “She is not important, Mister Lash. I suggest you perhaps head back over the dunes for an hour or so. Do not meet her. I implore you, as payment for your kindness, please don’t stay here. Please don’t wait for her to arrive.”

He gave me a look of infinite sadness as he spoke, and I found myself reaching for my bag.

“I will do as you say, Captain,” I said, hearing the desperation in his voice. I recognised he wished to protect me from something, and knew the visitor soon to be arriving would no doubt not be wishing to serve my best interests. “I wish you well, and will pray to Eris for your release from this curse.”

He bowed his head, wearily as though a great weight were settling on his shoulders. “Thankyou, Mister Lash. I will remember your words. They will keep me sane through many nights, I think.”

I hefted my pack and began treading toward the dunes. Behind me, I heard the occupant of the rowboat give a cry.

“Please don’t look back, Mister Lash,” the Captain called. “Keep going. She cannot place a foot upon the shore. Just keep going out of range of her voice.”

I nodded grimly and kept walking.

The sound of her voice drifted up toward me and I wondered what she must look like. Was she young or old? Plain or pretty? Was she even human?

The voice had a melodic quality, though I couldn’t make out any words.

I struggled to hear a single word. Just one word, I thought, and I would be satisfied.

“Mister Lash!” the Captain cried. “You have stopped walking! Please keep going. She is getting closer.”

I urged me legs to move, and they obeyed. I admit to a feeling of disappointment, as though my potential escape might be something more of a loss. I thought about turning, just to glance over my shoulder. Surely it couldn’t be as bad as he said. Surely not.

He must have been overly cautious.

The sound of her voice was soft – like an angel’s. She seemed to be asking me a question. It would be rude of me not to answer. I should turn and answer. A few words in exchange would be pleasant. What would be lost with just a few words and a quick look? Surely a voice like that must emerge from a girl so beautiful she would make my very heart weep at sight of her.

One peek wouldn’t hurt.

“Run, Mister Lash!” he snapped. “Run!”

I jumped – his voice seemed to whip at me from right behind my ears. I ran. I ran desperately over the dune and kept running.

I ran until I fell over a stone, my pack jarring into the back of my neck.

I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew it was night. I hauled myself to my feet, feeling the dull effects of the fall and shaking my heard to clear the fog of unconsciousness. I stumbled back the way I had come, over the dune and down the sand toward the water which was creeping lightly up the shore. The cold water touched my feet and I bent down to scoop a handful which I splashed across my face.

I felt a little more alive.

And then I saw it – glowing in the moonlight. The Torii.

It was almost invisible. I would not have noticed it had not the moon’s reflection, shattered across the waves, passed between the two pillars. I cried out in alarm and joy, clawing at my pack for my sketchbook. I waded out toward it, the water hip-deep. The Torii was close to shore, thankfully, so I was able to make out the runes which glittered along the kasagi.

I began frantically sketching them, uncertain how long the Torii would remain.

“It is a beautiful thing,” said a voice behind me.

“Yes, it is,” I replied absently, before giving a startled jump. I turned in the water and found a girl, barely thirteen years old, standing behind me in a dress of deep green velvet. Her smile was impish in the moonlight.

“Hello, Sangren Lash,” she said.

“You know my name?”

The girl glided forward in the water, reached out a small hand and touched my cheek. “I know everyone’s name,” she said. “At least, everyone’s whose matters.”

Something bumped me from behind, and again I gave a start. My mind conjured images of sharks, and deadly creatures from the deep. I spun about and gave a scream as I saw the body. Pale skin shining too bright in the moonlight, and eyes open wide to the stars. The mouth – open in horror, and the skin stretched taut across the cheeks. It was a mask of fear drawn across a shattered skull.

The fingers were curled into claws and the long coat spreading out behind the body was like a permanent shadow born of violence.

I began splashing back toward the shore, but the girl siezed my arm in an inhuman grip. “Don’t panic, Sangren,” she said. “Please don’t panic.”

“It’s him!” I cried. “It is him, isn’t it?”

“Who do you think it is?” she asked, a note of dry humour in her voice.

“Him! The Captain of that cursed ship!”

“Cursed?” the girl cried. “Cursed? Who said it was cursed?”

I turned on her, the waves pulling me toward the shore. I was desperate to go with them, but her grip kept me there. I struggled, but could not be free of her hand. “He said so! You! You are the one he was trying to protect me from!”

“Protect you?” she giggled, and I shuddered at the sound. Her face was an image of delight. “Protect you? Well. Perhaps he was, in his way.”

“Who are you? What do you want with me?” I pulled hard again, as hard as I could, but still she would not let go.

“Mister Lash, I have lost a captain. I find myself in need of another.”

I shuddered and nearly lost control of myself such was my fear. “Surely you joke,” I said in a sickly tone.

“Not at all. I need you, Sangren,” she said. I could hear the desperation in her voice. “I need you more than you know.”

“Why did you kill him?”

“I didn’t kill him, Sangren. He killed himself. He flung himself off the deck and onto the reef. He didn’t wish to be captain any more. He hoped in killing himself while no other captain was present that it would break the enchantments on me. It didn’t work, though. You were still too close.”

“Me? But I am not a captain! I am an apprentice historian!”

She smiled, and her grip loosened a little, but not enough for me to be free. “You are captain, Mister Lash. You were always captain. He knew that, too. He tried to get here first. He wanted to kill you. Something must have stopped him. Perhaps your manner was not as he expected.”

I frowned at her, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. “Why would he want to do that?”

“He has been captain for many thousands of years. Though it is not a life he might have chosen, it was still a life. When you were born, he felt it. I felt it, Sangren. I have waited so long for you. He knew you would replace him, and when he was replaced, it would mean his certain death. I need a captain, Sangren, but only one. It was always you. He merely warmed your seat.”

“I don’t understand.”

She grinned and her teeth glinted in the starlight. “I will explain it, Sangren. But you may not understand it for a few hundred years.”

And behind her, the ship floated into view, smoothly emerging from the darkness. How it faded into existence I cannot tell, but as soon as I saw it heading toward us, I knew her words were true.

I was captain.

The ship called to me. Every plank summoned me. The rippling sheets of the sails whispered my name on the wind, and the sailors lined the rails to get first glance of the man who would lead them.

“Where?” I asked, my voice tripping across the waves. “Where shall we sail?”

She let her hand fall from my arm and smiled, softly. “Anywhere you want, Sangren. Anywhere at all.”

I turned, then, and headed back to the shore. I wanted to write this last entry in my diary. I will leave it here, on the shore of Uramali in hope someone will find it and return it to the University.

When I am finished, I will return to the ship with her. I know who she is, now. As I watch she plays in the waves, her bare feet kicking up the spray. She glances at me, her bright eyes like stars embedded in her face. She seems there, but I know she’s not. She’s simply a projection of the ship itself. She smiles as I write this. She knows what I am thinking. She is glad I understand what she is.

Proud, almost.

Yes. I would say she is proud of me, though why I cannot tell.

When I am done, I will place the pen atop this diary and I will go to her. I will hold her in my arms and I will tell her to where we will sail.

She will smile at me. It’s where she wants to go. It is where she has always wanted to go, but where no other captain has dared sail.

She will cup my face in her hands, kiss my lips and breathe my name. “Sangren,” she will say. “My captain.”

We will return to the ship and stand on the deck as we turn into the wind and sail. She will hold her hand and I will turn to her with a smile.

In my hands, the ship will warp. It will change.

We will go into the Torii.

Where the Chaos Lords wait.

Tags: chaos, chaos magic, widgeroo